Christmas vibes 🎁🎇🎄🎅
New found friends from a life changing trip to a Correctional Institution.
I’m not a fan of beaded work or crafts but after my inmate partner decided to give me the two cats (The penguin, I bought from their store) as a token/remembrance, I know that I will love beaded work because it reminds me of the truth I learned behind the judgment society gave on people who commit crimes.
It took us three hours to get to Mandaluyong, the city where the Correctional Institution for Women is located. It was an odd place for reserved girls to go to for an exposure. I didn’t feel nervous while I was still sitting in the bus but when I was instructed to go inside the gates of the Correctional, I found myself nervous because of the many negative possibilities that were in my head.
When the time came that the Inmates were asked to sit beside us, I was praying that I’d be partnered with a nic and warm woman; the wish was granted. She first gave me the green cat bead work which I held as we talked since I was still a bit nervous to talking with a stranger.
But I warmed up eventually, after I noticed she cried after hearing a christmas song. Seven Christmases without her family was painful, and it was more painful that she hasn’t seen them or even talked to them in seven years.
She cried when we were being asked to leave because her youngest child which she left 7 years ago would be my age. I gave her a hug because she said it felt like she was talking to her daughter. It was also to let her know that she will be remembered by me forever, and that she will be in my prayers.
We headed for the shop to buy crafts that these women made. I bought a penguin bead work for 15 pesos because I decided I love bead work after 30 minutes. After buying, we headed out and someone called for my name. It was my inmate partner who gave me another black bead cat keychain. I hugged her once again, thanking her for giving me another one again, and for the unforgettable experience.
My batchmates were able to ask why their partners were in the correctional. I didn’t want to ask my partner why she was there, because it wasn’t what I’m supposed to learn. From the thirty minutes I got to sit down and talk with her, I knew she wanted to change for the better, and she is thankful that she is in CIW because she was able to change for herself, for her family and most of all, for God.
These women violated laws or made crimes but just like us, they can feel and they have hearts. They did what they did for their loved ones, and they believe in the statement that as long as you are alive, you can change and do better.
Remember: even when the Philippines begins to fade from the headlines, there is still work to be done.
All our love to our family and friends in the Philippines. Keep the Filipino people in your thoughts & prayers.
Allow me to write in Filipino for my fellow Filipinos who are stuck in the nightmare that is Typhoon Haiyan
Maaring magalit kayo sa akin kapag sinabi ko na biyaya ang Bagyong Yolanda/ Haiyan sa buong mundo. Maaring salungat kayo sa aking pananaw na ito ngunit naniniwala ako na ang lahat ng gawa ng Diyos ay may dahilan na para sa ikabubuti ng kanyang mga anak.
Maraming nawala dahil sa Bagyong Yolanda: mga imprastraktura, pagkakakitaan, trabaho, ari-arian, mga pangarap at mahal sa buhay. Nawala na rin ang pansin ng bansa sa isyung Pork Barrel- Janet Lim Napoles at ang digmaang nagaganap sa Zamboanga sa Mindanao. Alam kong nalungkot ka nang mabasa mo ang mga nabanggit kong winasak ng hagupit ng bagyo, ngunit aminin mo, siguradong naalimpungatan ka nang mabasa mo ang pangalan ni Janet Lim Napoles at ang bayan ng Zamboanga.
Hindi ko hinahanap ang iyong galit dahil sa bagal ng proseso ng pagtulong at pagremedyo sa samu’t saring suliranin ng bansa. Ang hinahanap ko sayo ay ang sandaling pagtigil upang isipin ang aking nasabi sa pinakaunang talata sa may itaas: Biyaya ang Bagyong Yolanda sa buong mundo. Napagtanto ko ang aking nasabi sa aking napagmamasdan sa aking paligid gamit ang social media, mass media, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lamang isa o dalawang bansa at organisasyon ang tumutulong sa atin. Ayon sa mga balit sobra-sobra na ang tulong pampinansyal na natatanggap ng Pilipinas galing sa mga organisasyon at gobyerno mula sa iba’t ibang sulok ng mundo. Naglipana na ang mga relief operations ng mga institusyon, maliit o malaki man. Kaliwa’t kanan na ang mga posts sa twitter, facebook, at maging sa tumblr ukol sa pagtulong sa mga taga-Visayas.
Bata, matanda, sikat, di-sikat, mayaman, may kaya o mahirap, maputi man o kayumanggi, tumutulong upang maibalik ang normal na takbo ng buhay ng mga Pilipino sa Visayas. Lahat ay nakikiisa sa pagtulong sa pagbangon.
Sa dami ng suliranin at krimeng nangyayari sa ating bansa, tila wala nang pag-asa na magsasama-sama ang sangkatauhan para sa iisang mithiin. Ngunit sa iniwan ng delubyong Bagyong Yolanda, nagkaroon ako muli ng pag-asa. Hindi lamang nito naipakita na kaya bumangon ng Visayas. Naipakita nito na ang bawat isa ay kayang makiisa at makilahok para sa mas magandang kinabukasan. Naipakita nito na ang mundo ay may malasakit para sa kanyang kapwa.
Sana’y sa pagtayo muli ng Pilipinas ay ang tuloy-tuloy rin na kapayapaan at pagkakaisa hindi lang sa ating bansa kundi sa buong mundo.
1. I would have written this on my ‘sweet’ 16th which was few days ago. However, my 16th birthday wasn’t ‘sweet’ because we were given a horrifying amount of work at school, I had to head home very late and I didn’t get the book I wanted.
2. I still don’t have my own room. It sucks.
3. I just listen to music and I don’t have a favorite band until I started listening to The Summer Set and He is We more and more. I used to listen to them but I became more and more attached to their music. Now, they’re my favorite bands and I couldn’t wait for them to visit my country.
4. Apparently, I discovered that it was better off that I am not one of the popular people in school. I’m not being spied by a lot of people. I’m not being judged by a lot of people. I can care less about what people think about me and I can live my life normally. I don’t have to deal with people following my every move.
5. My writing was exposed to the whole school— even to the nuns who run our school. I was told that the piece I wrote was beautiful and apparently, everyone appreciated it. I found myself confident with my writing and started accepting more scriptwriting work for my club and for other things.
6. I wrote for the school’s entry for CMLI. At the same time, I directed it. We got in the finals but didn’t win, and that was more than enough for me. Being able to represent my school alone was enough.
7. I no longer have lingering feelings for the person I called #mystery. it was maybe because I found out he’s a frightening amount of crap and it turns out we’re not for each other. Glad to have moved on.
8. Even if I have moved on, maybe it would take time for me to like someone the way I liked him again. Broken needs mending, I guess. But I’m not settling for someone like him. I’ll be waiting, perhaps.
9. Text messages »»» Greetings reminded by facebook.
10. Sweet. He was sweet and I was touched by it.
11. Apparently, my purpose for writing fiction is to create happy endings.
12. It doesn’t matter if you are not liked by everyone. What matters is that you are true to yourself and that you’re happy with who you are and what you do.
13. Greatest Achievement in life so far: Being able to write for others
14. I am thankful for being able to work with my co-editors in The Familian. I am thankful for being able to write. With it, I found a place for myself and I met a lot of new people, and found more opportunities open for me.
15. I decided that Communication is for me. Apart from the fact that I can see that this course could bring me a lot of opportunities in the future, It is the only course that offers subjects and topics which interests me.
16. Personal reminder for tomorrow: Don’t be scared of the future. The world will always be scary but face things head on. People will come and go, but those who will give their best to remain by you are those care for you.
-Rusty, Stuck in Love
Sleepless nights. Permanent dark shadows forming below my eyes. Messed up hair. Caffeinated blood. Her lips, pale and almost colorless, chapped. That smile that used to make me stop and stare at her is gone— it was replaced with her bitten lips, blood and wounds almost visible if not far from eyesight.
That’s her, struggling and trying to keep up with the fast paced world. That’s her, trying to be in so many places at once. I remember her, beautiful and alive. Full of life and wonder and awe.
But now I hardly see it, and I’m torn by it. I miss that girl who made me fall in love with her wits and smile. I miss that girl who effortlessly lifted up the spirits of the dull room. I miss her and I hate how he tore her apart in pieces. I hate how he dumped her and took everythingI knew about her—everything that made me love her.
I stand here, a few meters away from her as she stood there alone. I can see her broken and torn apart the way I am now as I look at the pieces he left her. Small pieces that may never bring her back again. Wounds that may never heal— wounds that destroyed the beautiful person that she used to be.
I found myself torn apart in the midst of her being torn apart. I found myself questioning all the ends of this world, “Am I supposed to be torn apart too?”
Is this how I’m supposed to feel because I love someone who’s torn apart?
Help her find the broken pieces again.
Or if you really can’t find them, make new ones and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get the old her back, or maybe make a better her. For her, for you.
The sky is nothing but radiant this October.
She cried a thousand drops of tears because she didn’t want it. The pain she felt way, way, way back then was something she didn’t ask for. It was a pain that sucked all the life she had in her. It emptied her, and so, you should never question why she islike this now.
She denies, and she keeps on pushing away these things because she still remembers that these things cause pain… pain that may change her again… pain that may make her lose herself. It’s near and it’s tempting, but her heart cries a thousand drops of tears once more because she knows she shouldn’t have it, but she truly, madly, badly needs it.
You’re afraid to love. Why? Because everything might end up the way they did a year ago. People, afterall, talk about how one should learn from their wrong actions. You’re thinking about it, and when it comes into your mind, you pull that thought away, thinking how it would most likely turn out— just like the past. It sucks of course, because you just deny and deny and you just keep on denying while it’s real. Try to forget, until you forget the feeling.
Take the risk or stay on the safe zone?